Are you really listening or waiting to speak?

In today’s world a lot of interpersonal problems can be attributed to poor listening skills. In our eagerness to dominate the discussion we are always in a hurry to “tell” and don’t have the patience or courtesy to “listen”. This happens both at work and at home and we know that the outcomes are not always good.

I follow certain standards of listening during the coaching process, which I find quite helpful in fully understanding my client. As a coach if I don’t listen deeply & understand what the client is sharing then I may not be able to help them.

In my experience these standards can be adopted by every individual and can be applied to every life situation. I can promise that regular use of the following standards would help improve your relationship and lead to positive outcomes:

• Be 100% engaged and focus your positive attention on the person who is speaking
• Refrain from interrupting, cross talk or side talk when someone is speaking
• Refrain from making repetitive comments or drawing attention to yourself
• Release anticipating or knowing what the other person is going to share. It’s an opportunity to be fascinated by another
• Look for the insights & brilliance being shared. You can always learn something new
• Refrain from formulating “what I want to say” or add to what is being shared
• Don’t judge without fully understanding the message or what is being conveyed
• Allow the person speaking to complete

All these may sound very simple & commonsensical but believe me they are not so easy to implement. You have to make a conscious effort to adopt these standards in every interaction.

Try these and assess whether you are really listening !